The Yogurt Caper
by MyseryLuvsCompany
Summary: 'You always, without fail, eat the last of my favorite yogurts. Oh but not today; today I have prepared fresh hell for you. Yes I mixed some chili into that strawberry goodness and prepared the perfect trap. It is waiting for you in the fridge and I'm waiting to hear you scream.'
Contrary to what anyone else would ever claim again, tampering with food was not as it easy as it seemed. Mai had decided to discover this the hard way and, while she had accomplished it in the end, she wondered how people could do it so effortlessly. Granted most who did had nefarious intentions but hers were not. They were _justified_ intentions and really, Yasuhara had it coming. The first few times she'd brushed her yogurt's miraculous disappearance off as her own memory. Obviously she'd eaten it already or had miscounted when she brought them to work. No harm, no foul. But then one day, when Yasu had left work early due to some appointment, Mai had been innocently taking out the trash as she did on Thursdays and lo and behold, there had been a discarded, _empty_ yogurt container in his bin. The same one that had gone missing from the fridge earlier that day.

Suddenly all the pieces had come together and Mai had nearly hurled the waste basket out the window, much to the surprise of Lin who had been getting a glass of water at the time. So Yasuhara thought he was sneaky and that he could just take her yogurt's without consequence? Well she would show him.

That was how Mai had cooked up the idea of mixing chili into one of the tubs and waiting to hear him scream. Being strawberry, it didn't look too different, but getting the chili in and mixed had been a mission. Hopefully Yasu wouldn't notice the oh-so-slight lift on the left corner where she'd done her work. Once her booby-trap was prepared, Mai gathered up her things and headed to SPR. Once she arrived, she placed the yogurt in the fridge and opened the second one for herself. He'd get suspicious if he thought it was the only one she'd brought after all. So Mai ate happily away at her yogurt as Yasuhara came in.

She tried not to give him the stink-eye because that would ruin the satisfaction of getting to hear him scream, but it was difficult. Instead, she finished her dairy delight, tossed the rubbish into her own waste basket and set about her work. He'd no doubt wait until she wasn't around to nab it, given that she'd never caught him before, but no matter. She could be patient, and she would have to duck downstairs for the mail anyway. Perfect opportunity for her plan to take effect. The day continued on and passed rather uneventfully but to Mai it seemed to drag. All she wanted was to get her revenge on Yasuhara. Harder still was maintaining polite conversation with him when all she wanted to do was throw something at his cheeky grin.

Preparing Naru's tea every hour or so was almost a welcome reprieve, which was something Mai never thought she'd believe.

Finally the moment had arrived. She called out to Naru and Lin to let them know she was going to grab the mail, before grabbing her coat and all but running down the stairs. She lingered by the mail box for a few minutes, just enough to give the thief the time he needed, and then she casually strolled back up to the office. The yelp that echoed through the empty hallway was like music to her ears and, full 'gotcha' grin in place, Mai barrelled inside to confront the culprit...

And found Yasu sitting at his desk, looking confused but decidedly not suffering from chili ingestion and the yelling was definitely not coming from him. Mai frowned and glanced at the two office doors, one of which was now open, and she felt her stomach drop to her toes as she realized just what was going on. Naru had eaten the booby-trapped dairy delight.

 _'Oh no...'_ Mai panicked as she ran to her boss' door, dumping the mail on her desk as she passed to see Naru spitting and cursing all over the place, and looking like he wanted to sandpaper his tongue. He was going to kill her.

When Naru realized his assistant was standing in his doorway, wearing the look of someone just coming to realize their life was about to end violently at the hands of another, he tried not to hiss at her as he demanded water, tea, _something_ to stop the god awful burning in his mouth. That seemed to snap Mai out of her stupor and she shook her head before running for the kitchen, muttering words he couldn't make out as she went.

"Milk, he needs milk," Mai hissed at herself, running for the fridge and ignoring Yasuhara who had risen from his seat to observe the commotion.

"Wanna explain why big boss is breathing fire, and not in the figurative sense today?" he asked with a quirk of his eyebrow and Mai couldn't hold back her glare this time.

"He ate the stupid yogurt that was meant for you," she replied, poking him quite sharply in the chest with her finger. "I laced it with chili to get you back for stealing them all the time." Mai left Yasu to his confusion for a moment as she pulled the half-full bottle of milk from the fridge and sought out a glass. She considered just taking Naru the bottle but she didn't think, even in the middle of chili hell, he would degrade himself so much as to drink from the bottle. So glass it was.

Mai glanced at Yasu, wondering why he was still there, but when she noticed his frown, she paused in her search. "What?"

"Mai you know I'm lactose intolerant right? If I eat yogurt I have to set up camp in the bathroom for the next week."

That revelation froze every muscle in Mai's body. Yasu couldn't eat dairy? Since when? Her mind frantically searched for evidence to the contrary, sometime she'd seen him eat dairy, but she was coming up blank. Which meant...

Her eyes narrowed and she threw an accusatory glare the Naru's doorway. Him getting the chili laced delight hadn't been a mistake then. _'Why that sneaky little git!'_ she raged internally. And he had tried to cover it up by dumping the containers in Yasu's trash. Mai almost squeezed the life out of the bottle she was holding as she realized she'd been duped. To think she had been so concerned with helping him.

Refocusing on the milk bottle she held, Mai unscrewed the cap but rather than pour it into the glass she'd located, she instead poured it down the sink and tossed the bottle into the trash. Yasuhara looked on with an amused grin as Mai stalked back over to Naru's door.

"I am so sorry Naru, it looks like we're out of milk. I'll just run down to the store and get some. You'll be alright, just don't drink anything else til I get back or you'll just make it worse," the brown haired girl said, putting on her best innocent and concerned act before grabbing her things and leaving the office. Yasuhara had serious doubt's she'd be coming back today. He made his way over to his desk and took a seat as Lin appeared from his office. The younger male shrugged when Lin shot him a curious look, before disappearing into Naru's office.

Smirking to himself, Yasu pulled out the next file he had to catalogue and began to whistle to himself. He did owe Naru in some way. That would have been him if their boss hadn't decided to inadvertently save him from getting burned by Mai's revenge, both figuratively and literally in this case, and he made a mental note to get him something to say thanks.

And to make sure he dumped the evidence of his crimes somewhere less obvious next time.


End file.
